Wednesday’s Musings at the 2009 SBC

Posted June 25, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Blogroll, Danny Akin, SBC Louisville 2009, Satire, Southern Baptist Convention, humor

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David Platt preached an awesome sermon on Christ's name (Acts 3)!!!

David Platt preached an awesome sermon on Christ's name (Acts 3)!!!

'Armani' Ronnie Floyd was appointed the Chairman of the GCR Task Force. Floyd was sporting a pair of exotic skinned shoes  (looked like Ostrich) at the SBC. He may have baptised toddlers from a fire-engine baptistry that shot confetti, but he was the sharpest dressed pastor at the SBC. (I would have dressed just as nice if I knew I was going to be nominated as the GCR Taskforce Chairman!)

'Armani' Ronnie Floyd was appointed the Chairman of the GCR Task Force. Floyd was sporting a pair of exotic skinned shoes (looked like Ostrich) at the SBC. He may have baptised toddlers from a fire-engine baptistry that shot confetti, but he was the sharpest dressed pastor at the SBC. (The cost of Floyd's apparel would be enought to fund 1 IMB missionary's salary for an entire year.)

chadwick’s commentary: JD Greear, the ‘young’ pastor who preached the doom & gloom sermon for the SBC at the Pastors’ Conference, was nominated as a member of the elite GCR Taskforce. Greear, after his doom & gloom sermon on Monday, was raptured away in a stretch limo to the airport, to catch a Trans-continental flight from O’Hara via Greece in  A PRIVATE JET to the Mediterranean to relax in a beachfront chalet; he was not even at the SBC to lift a ballet for the GCR! Rumor has it that Greear was in excruciating pain from sunburn he had received lying out on the Mediterranean beach. JD has an alibi, though!

Does O.S. Hawkins realize  that tanning beds are hazardous to his health?

Does O.S. Hawkins realize that tanning beds are hazardous to his health?

This was the effects of John Marshall's Convention Sermon. (No joke. This picture was snapped in the pinacle of Marshall's sermon, as I was leaving.)Words cannot articulate the influence of John Marshall’s Convention Sermon. This was the mood created by  Marshall’s Convention Sermon. (No joke. This picture was snapped in the pinacle of Marshall’s sermon, as I was leaving.)

This  poor guy was ''intoxicated' with 'Moranism!'

This poor guy was ''intoxicated' with 'Moranism!'

Danny Akin's cure for 'Moranism': "Come and talk to me for the complete facts!"

Danny Akin's cure for 'Moranism': "Come and talk to me for the complete facts!"

Tabitha, mrs.pastorinthewoods, and Tina, my wife, enjoyed themselves at the SBC.

Tabitha, mrs.pastorinthewoods, and Tina, my wife, enjoyed themselves at the SBC.

Vandisa glorified the Lord to open up Geoff Hammond's NAMB Report.

Vandisa glorified the Lord to open up Geoff Hammond's NAMB Report.

Geoff Hammond gave a moving report for the NAMB.

Geoff Hammond gave a moving report for the NAMB.

This couple are a wonderful testimony on how the Lord is working in NAMB church plants!

This couple is a wonderful testimony on how the Lord is working in NAMB church plants!

Tina & chadwick are thankful for the Lord's hand upon the SBC & her future!

Tina & chadwick are thankful for the Lord's hand upon the SBC & her future!

Reflections on Tuesday’s SBC

Posted June 24, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Blogroll, Calvinism, Cooperative Program, Danny Akin, International Mission Board, Richard Land, SBC Louisville 2009, Satire, Southern Baptist Convention, humor

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Bold Quotes from Danny Akin at the Founders Breakfast:

Danny Akin Embraces the SBC's 'Red-Headed Step-Children'

Danny Akin Embraces the SBC's 'Red-Headed Step-Children'

My friendship with the Founders has costs me precious friendships! (Danny Akin)

I do not view you [Founders Calvinists] as [the SBC's] red-headed step children who are just tolerated [in the SBC]! (Danny Akin)

Hilarious Quotes from the SBC floor:

This guy hates Mark Driscoll and wants to see the SBC purged of all Acts 19 Churches!
This guy hates Mark Driscoll and wants to see the SBC purged of all Acts 19 [sic.] Churches.

Drinking is evil . . . it is a sign of being unregenerate. (From some fire-breathing  Mark Driscoll hater [pictured above].)

Does that mean that Jesus was not without sin? (Jn. 2:1-11). (Chadwick’s silent musings after the fire-breathing Driscoll hater’s comments.)

. . . I make a motion to examine any SBC entity’s connection with the Acts 19 [sic.] Churches! (From the same fire-breathing Driscoll hater.)

We need to carry the [Christian] flag to lead the Great Commission Insurgence [sic.]! (The guy who rambled a motion about the ‘Christian Flag”)

Insurgence: [noun] The action or an instance of rebellion; an insurrection.

Resurgence: [noun] 1. A continuing after interruption; a renewal.2. A restoration to use, acceptance, activity, or vigor; a revival.

Sir, wrap it up! (Johnny Hunt’s cut-off line in the midst of  the guy making the motion about the ‘Christian flag’  being an American and  Biblical symbol. . . the guy rambled for about 5 minutes before Hunt graciously cut him off!)

Go, Johnny!!! :D

chadwick’s Musings:

Morris Chapman defended his job, rehashed his lame 06 Greensboro Bash on Calvinists & All Who 'Tolerate' Them!

Morris Chapman Defended His Job, The Bureaucracy, and Rehashed His Lame SBC 06 Greensboro Bash on Calvinists & All Who 'Tolerate' Them!

Dick Land Needs to Trash His Outdated Press Picture . . . and not with CP Monies!!

Dick Land Needs to Trash His Outdated Press Picture . . . and not with CP Monies!!

Snap out of it, Morris! The Beaueaucracy IS the problems!!!! chadwick's [Paraphrased] Interpretation of Rankin's Speech!)

‘Snap out of it, Morris! The Beaueaucracy IS the problem!!!!’ [chadwick's Paraphrased Version of Jerry Rankin's Speech.]

Selah,

chadwick

2009 SBC Louisville: Silly Stuff (Monday Morning)

Posted June 22, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Blogroll

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We exceded the speed limit 'just a little' en route to Louisville on Sunday

Tina and I exceeded the speed limit 'just a little' en route to Louisville on Sunday.

Boomerang Express VBS Cake

Posted June 14, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Blogroll, Southern Baptist Convention

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Boomerang Express VBS Cake

Boomerang Express VBS Cake

This cake is a creation from Tina, my wife (CLICK HERE TO VISIT TINA’s CAKE WEBSITE). She made it for our Boomerang Express VBS Kick-Off Party this past Saturday. Each tier was a different flavor of cake: red velvet, chocolate, & vanilla . . . all made from scratch. The icing flavor was butter cream with fondant trim. The VBS logo was made via color-flow. The cake was delicious . . . it ‘hit the spot’ along with homemade banana ice cream.

chadwick

The Nabbing, Trial, Execution, & Fashion Design of a Ruthless Chicken Killer!

Posted May 30, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Blogroll, Satire, humor

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This raccoon was responsible for killing three of chadwick’s precious Silky chickens and ripping the comb off the head of one of his prized laying hens. Needless to say, he isn’t going to be killing any more of chadwick’s chickens! (CLICK ON PICTURES FOR chadwick’s COMMENTARY!)

Conclusively, look for chadwick at Louisville . . .  he will not be hard to spot, sporting  . . . ah, you guessed it . . . his Davey Crockett cap! This post would not complete without this video:

chadwick says grace; chadwick says ‘ma’am’ . . .

Selah,

chadwick

Johnny Unplugged

Posted May 16, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Blogroll, Johnny Hunt, Satire, Southern Baptist Convention, humor

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It seems  that Johnny Hunt’s comments about  ‘Armini’ ‘Armani’ Ronnie Floyd have went undetected on the SBCBloggosphere: (CLICK HERE TO READ ENTIRE ARTICLE)

Here are Johnny’s ‘Published’ Comments:

The Rev. Johnny Hunt, a friend of Floyd’s for 20 years, is president of the Southern Baptist Convention. He thinks Floyd is the most gifted leader in the denomination.

“He oozes leadership,” Hunt says. “He sees the big picture. He knows how to get a vision and is incredible at casting the vision so people can see what he sees.”

Hunt nominated Floyd for the presidency of the denomination in 2006. He lost to the Rev. Frank Page of South Carolina in what turned out to be a challenging time for Floyd. His nomination prompted a backlash from some of the younger Southern Baptists who considered Floyd another “old guard” nominee. Web loggers skewered not only Floyd, but his church.

“He would have been a phenomenal leader,” Hunt says. “They really shot themselves in the foot. We still got a really good man … but Ronnie got blindsided.”

Hunt says he doesn’t know whether Floyd would accept another nomination, but his skills are needed.

“He’s an administrative genius. He knows how to get his arm around something and pull it off. Everything he does is with excellence. He’s always over the top.”

Here are Johnny’s ‘Unplugged’ Comments (CLICK ON ALL HYPERLINKS TO GET THE ‘FULL EFFECT’):

“[Floyd] is the biggest sucker I know . . . he oozes gullibility. ” Hunt says. “Back in 2006, I saw the big picture. I knew the presidency would be determined by strong CP giving. I saw that my minimal CP giving would not make the cut in that particular election. I could not handle having my heels nipped by Tom ‘chihuahua Calvinist*’ Ascol [see endnote], Benjamin ‘chihuahua Calvinist*‘ Cole, Wade Burleson, and Marty Duren. Therefore, my pride won out . . . Seeking to preserve myself for another election,  I bailed out! I bailed out, I tell you! “He oozes leadership,” Hunt says. “He sees the big picture. He knows how to get a vision and is incredible at casting the vision so people can see what he sees.”

Hunt, seeking to save his own tail, withdrew his name from the presidential nomination, and knowing how much Floyd craved the ’spotlight’ nominated Floyd for the presidency of the denomination in 2006. He lost to the Rev. Frank Page of South Carolina in what turned out to be a challenging time for Floyd. Hunt left Greensboro smelling like a rose. His nomination prompted a backlash from some of the younger Southern Baptists who considered Floyd another “old guard” nominee. Web loggers exposed Floyd’s lame CP giving and his church’s fire engine baptistry that had cannons that  shot confetti out while the sirens screamed each time a child was baptized skewered not only Floyd, but his church.

There really was not a ’snowball’s chance in #$#%’ that Ronnie would have been elected! Why do you think that I bailed out? ‘He would have been a phenomenal leader,” Hunt says. “I really used Ronnie as my scapegoat!!!!  “Those morons that voted for Frank Page really ticked me off” They really shot themselves in the foot. We still got a really good man … yeah! right! . . . hey, I know that I just contradicted myself, but I’ve got to say something good about Page, but, thank goodness, Ronnie, instead of me, (whew!) got blindsided.”

Hunt says he doesn’t know whether Floyd’s ego has recovered from his severe whipping in Greensboro would accept another nomination, but Hunt’s conscience still bothers him over how he bailed out of the election and nominated Floyd to be his scapegoat his skills are needed.

[* During a chapel message at Fruitland Baptist Bible Institute, in the Spring of 2006,  Hunt, out of frustration, made reference of the 'chihuahua Calvinist bloggers' pastoring   'small chihuahua churches' having no right to criticize Floyd, a mega-church pastor.]

Selah,

chihuahua chadwick

Henry Blackaby ABSTAINS from the SBC’s ‘Political Kool-Aid®’ . . .’OH YEAH!’

Posted May 13, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Arminianism, Satire, Southern Baptist Convention, Theology, humor

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CLICK HERE TO READ HENRY BLACKABY’S REFUSAL TO DRINK THE SBC POLITICAL KOOL-AID

Blackaby pinpoints, with lethal accuracy, the problem with the SBC’s pragmatic-driven philosophy to jump-start the GCR. Here is a choice excerpt:

Blackaby, a longtime pastor, college president and coauthor of the “Experiencing God” series of Bible study materials, said declining baptism and membership statistics in the Southern Baptist Convention reflect not so much a lack of passion for Christ’s command to make disciples as a lack of relationship with Jesus Christ.

“When you hear the Southern Baptist leadership being concerned about baptisms and all that, those are a byproduct of discipleship,” Blackaby said. “When you lead a person … into a relationship where Christ is Lord, everything else follows. You don’t have to convince them they need to spend time in God’s Word or prayer or in the fellowship or on mission. That’s a spontaneous response to a relationship to the living Lord.”

Issuing a call for a resurgence of commitment to the Great Commission triggers the wrong response in Christians who are focused on religious activity, rather than a relationship with Christ, Blackaby added.

“Southern Baptists are program-oriented. We are missing the relationship,” Blackaby said. “When you make a statement like [that], the first thing most pastors look for is, ‘What program’s going to come down the pike to help me do that?’ You don’t need a program to help you do that. You just need the relationship to the living Lord. The reason we are not effective is because we have moved from the relationship to a program activity.”

THE REASON FOR DECLINE

Substituting activities for relationship also is why many churches are in decline or on a plateau, Blackaby said.

“We are not leading people into that immediate relationship with the living Lord. If you listen to most sermons, that intimate personal relationship is missing,” Blackaby said. “If you talk to many church members, they feel they are in the right relationship to God when they attend all the worship services, they tithe, they go on a mission trip. And many a pastor would evaluate a member, not from the intimate relationship with the Lord, but for how faithful he is in all the activities of the church. And does he tithe?

“It’s activity. Many of God’s people have moved from the relationship to religious activity,” Blackaby added. “We are content to live without the manifest presence, power and activity of God.”

The place many churches need to begin is not with a call to commitment and activity, but with a call to repentance, Blackaby explained.

“We don’t talk about repentance,” Blackaby said. “Repentance is the essence of what God says throughout the Bible: ‘You have lost the relationship. Return to Me and then you will experience Me returning to you.’ When that happens, the manifest presence and power and activity of God is very real.”

Attempts at evangelism without relationship are artificial and yield artificial fruit, Blackaby noted.

“If you try to bypass [relationship] and give them a program, the Roman Road or another pattern for evangelism, you are creating an artificial approach to evangelism. And of course it has that same kind of fruit,” Blackaby explained. “Those who have been led to the Lord on a program are very reluctant to respond to the lordship of Christ.”

Witnessing to the lost is supposed to be a spontaneous response to a relationship with Christ, not an activity, Blackaby added.

“[The Bible] doesn’t say, ‘You are to do witnessing.’ It says, ‘You are witnesses unto Me,’” Blackaby said. “‘Out of the relationship with Me, you will have an enormous witness unto Me.’ If you’re not doing it now just out of relationship to the Lord, don’t look for a program that would help you do what you ought to be doing spontaneously.”

Here is our 2¢’s worth:

Blackaby is a modern day John the Baptist; he proves that Biblical facts are stubborn things; they won’t go away.Blackaby goes outside the camp from Johnny Hunt. Doctrine really does matter. Blackaby is warning Southern Baptists to “WAKE UP!”

According to Blackaby,we need a BIBLICAL DOCTRINE RESURGENCE. Blackaby has exposed the shallow, impotent, popular, man-made pragmatic methods of modern day evangelism in the SBC. He gives a minority opinion on the GCR.

Conclusively, Blackaby is warning  Southern Baptists to: “STOP!LOOK!LISTEN!” We suggest, also, that Southern Baptists should: STOP!LOOK!LISTEN!  . . . to Blackaby.

It seems that many are giddy and content drinking the SBC’s Political Kool-Aid®

Will any Southern Baptist leaders publicly disagree with Blackaby’s Biblical, common-sense, Spirit-filled article? Or will they just simply ignore him and keep drinking the SBC’s Political Kool-AID®?

AS APPEALING  AS THE SBC’S POLITICAL KOOL-AID®  MAY BE, HENRY IS NOT DRINKING IT!!! WE THINK THAT IS A GREAT IDEA!!! . . . OH YEAH!!!!

ABSTAINING FROM THE SBC’S POLITICAL KOOL-AID® ALSO,

chadwick

Paul Washer Delivers the ‘State of the SBC Pulpit’ Address

Posted May 11, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Arminianism, Blogroll, Southern Baptist Convention, Theology

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If you want to know the state of the SBC pulpit, being occupied by nominal preachers preaching a nominal gospel, please brace yourself and watch this video:

Selah,

chadwick

How To Reach Retirement As A Bureaucrat: By Dr. Dwight Easler

Posted May 7, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Satire, South Carolina Baptist Convention, Southern Baptist Convention, humor

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Can the SBC Exist without ‘Bureaucratic Institutionalism’?

Posted May 4, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Blogroll, Satire, South Carolina Baptist Convention, Southern Baptist Convention, humor

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The Baptist Courier recently published an article, With graying of Southern Baptist Convention leadership, what comes next?, by Butch Blume. Blume, in his article, addresses the staunch reality of the mass void of “40 and under pastors” in the SBC’s current leadership.

I think that Blume’s rhetorical question amplifies the SBC’s current debacle of the absence of the “40 and under pastors.” The key catchphrase is ‘Southern Baptist Convention leadership.In other words, the catchphrase really implies, ‘How is the SBC’s current Bureaucratic Institutionalism going to survive?

H. Rondel Rumburg (1995), in Some Southern Documents of the People Called Baptists, unveiled the historical fact that the SBC’s early days were (gasp!) void of Bureaucratic Institutionalism.

Rumburg stated:

“[The early days of the SBC] were certainly different in comparison to the present day. [The SBC’s founding fathers] were not interested in promoting a denominational hierarchy. Their interest was in confessing Biblical convictions and living for Christ. Present institutionally-oriented Baptists seem more concerned to perpetuate an organization than to build up the Body of Christ. Also, there is a great deal of effort, on the part of some, to mask what they believe or disbelieve . . .”

“[Our Southern] Baptist forefathers’ purpose was to strengthen the saints rather than be an agency for public relations to promote an institutional hierarchy or to perpetuate an ecclesiastical machine . . .”

“When a building slowly slips from its foundation, sure disaster will follow. The early documents were an attempt to define the purpose of the life of the fellowship of believers and the ground or foundation upon which they chose to stand. There was no thought of institutionalism in the documents of our [SBC ]forefathers. Findley B. Edge (1963), in A Quest for Vitality in Religion, expressed some of the pitfalls which arise in institutionalism. To paraphrase him on this theme: institutionalism is evident in the church when members are related to the body as an organization, rather than to the living and true God. If a person’s faith is confined to his support of an organization, it is then that a problem exists. This is also observable when a church has a greater concern for its earthly enhancement, rather than exhibiting concern over the reasons for which God called her. When the means for serving God become service to the institution, institutionalism has arrived. There is usually a steady deterioration when this slippery slope is negotiated, and when what a person does for Christ, in God’s world, is not a primary concern anymore. It seems then to them, more important to serve the organization. A disease is at work when there is no longer the spirit of the faith, but only a form of godliness. Worship becomes man-centered, or form-centered, rather than God-centered. The desire to adore the Godhead is replaced by another desire, a desire couched in self-centeredness or self-esteem, and to be made to feel good about one’s self. But self-exaltation is misplaced. God is dethroned. Hymns to God are then replaced by songs to men, centered on man’s feelings rather than God’s attributes. Hymns disappear and [Southern] gospel songs replace them in worship. Institutionalism then enters a realm which no longer asks, “is it Biblical?” but adopts the mode of “does it work?”! “What will glorify God?” is changed to “what will improve the institution?”! Church history becomes a series of denominational social studies and organizational promotions. At this point the confession of one’s faith has been long forgotten or rejected. It is conceived to be a great hindrance , rather than a help.”

I long for the day when the SBC will no longer market the philosophy, “Does this  work?” but ask the question, “Is this Biblical?” I long for the day when, “What will improve the institution?” be changed to, “What will glorify God?“.  Lord, haste the day!

Blume’s rhetorical question, With graying of Southern Baptist Convention leadership, what comes next?How is the SBC’s Current Bureaucratic Institutionalism going to survive?“, is really the wrong question to ask. The real question at hand is, “Can the SBC survive without Bureaucratic Institutionalism?” A historically-proven answer is: “Yes, we can!:razz:

chadwick ivester (a 36 year-old SBC pastor)