chadwickivester

A ‘NewSprung’ Leak

Posted December 7, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Satire, South Carolina Baptist Convention, Southern Baptist Convention, culture, humor
Tags: dr. james duncan, humor, newspring, Perry Noble, Satire, scandal, Southern Baptist Convention

READ, “Holy Rage at the ‘Spring,” BY DR. JAMES DUNCAN. If you only read one blog post this year, let this be the one. (CLICK HERE)

Since June, I have been reading Dr. James Duncan’s blog, “Pajama Pages.” (I stumbled upon it by accident and I have been reading it ever since then.) He has, Biblically and tactfully, taken Perry Noble to task on many issues. In all that I have ever read, Duncan has made his arguments with Noble about ISSUES and not personalities. Duncan has never attacked Noble’s character; he has only addressed the ISSUES; that’s it!

On the other hand, Duncan, along with his family, has been maliciously (This word is an understatement; however, it is the strongest word that I can describe) attacked by several henchmen men under Noble’s authority. These men have sought to slander, degrade, sabotage, and defame Duncan’s CHARACTER and CAREER.

Here are just a few attempts of how these henchmen men tried to denigrate Duncan’s character and career:

Someone emailed Duncan homosexual pornographic pictures.
Someone disguising himself as Duncan, ordered a subscription to a homosexual magazine.
A bogus Twitter account was set up under Duncan’s name that portrayed him as a homosexual.
Duncan received late-night slanderous, computerized phone calls.
A bogus resignation letter, supposedly written by Duncan, was sent to his boss.
One of the malicious attackers tweeted rude comments about Duncan’s wife and son.

All of these malicious attacks, which lasted all summer, were “unbeknownst” to Newspring’s Pope/CEO/Godfather Pastor, Perry Noble, and his staff.

EXCLUSIVE AUDIO FOOTAGE:

CLICK HERE to hear the official statement from Noble and his staff verifying that the malicious attacks on Dr. Duncan were “unbeknownst” to them! . . . That’s their story, and they’re sticking to it!

Selah,

chadwick

Comments: 1 Comment

The Fallacious Farce of Global Warming & the SBC

Posted December 4, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Satire, Southern Baptist Convention, culture, humor
Tags: 2007 sbc global warming resolution, al gore, al gore oscar award, ann coulter, baptist press, craig mitchell (swbts), fox news, global warming farce, go green, humor, nobel peace prize, Satire, Southern Baptist Convention

Since Global Warming is a proven fallacious farce (CLICK HERE) (& CLICK HERE), two questions must be asked:

1) Will Al Gore return his Oscar and Nobel Peace Prize? (CLICK HERE)

2) Will the Southern Baptist Convention recant of its 2007 Global Warming Resolution?(CLICK HERE)

WHEREAS, The record shows that global temperature has risen and fallen cyclically throughout geologic history, with some periods warmer and others cooler than the present; and

WHEREAS, The global temperature has generally risen since 1850 as it recovers from the “Little Ice Age” (1550-1850 A.D.); and

WHEREAS, The ten warmest years since 1850 have occurred in the last fifteen years; (Excerpt from 2007 SBC Global Warming Resolution)

Selah,

chadwick

Comments: 1 Comment

Which Tiger Shall We Slay?

Posted December 3, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Blogroll, Theology, culture
Tags: adultery, chosen one, jesus christ, tiger woods

As the world knows, Tiger Woods, the world’s best golfer, has confessed to having multiple adulterous relationships (CLICK HERE). It saddens me very much to hear about Tiger’s “transgressions.”

My first kneejerk reaction came from the “Pharisaical Tiger” within my own heart; I sought to pray thus within myself, “God, I thank Thee, that I am not as other “married” men are, especially as this accused hypocritical, fornicating, adulterous, fraudulent “do-gooder,” Tiger Woods!” (Luke 18:11).

How tempting it was for me to jump on the bandwagon and join the myriad of ruthless, graceless, merciless, and condemning bloggers in “slaying the Tiger” on his own blog? Yet, as I pondered on the situation, the Holy Spirit reminded me, ”if I thinketh I standeth, I must take heed lest I fall.” (1 Cor 10:12).

Jonathan Edwards wrote (from his Resolutions):

* 8. Resolved, To act, in all respects, both speaking and doing, as if nobody had been so vile as I, and as if I had committed the same sins, or had the same infirmities or failings, as others; and that I should let the knowledge of their failings promote nothing but shame in myself, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God.

* 65. Resolved . . . all my life long, with the greatest openness of which I am capable, to declare my ways to God, and lay open my soul to him, all my sins, temptations, difficulties, sorrows, fears, hopes, desires, and every thing, and every circumstance . . .

* 68. Resolved, To confess frankly to myself, all that which I find in myself, either infirmity or sin; and, if it be what concerns religion, also to confess the whole case to God, and implore needed help.

According to Edwards, I should see Tiger’s “transgression” as if it is I who am charged with the same “transgression!” . . . and that I will let the knowledge of Woods’ “transgressions” promote nothing but shame in myself, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God!

According to the Word of God, I am capable of falling into the same “transgression” as Woods! . . . Nay, I am capable of even viler and heinous “transgressions” than he! And if it were not for God’s grace upon my life, I would fall into much greater folly than Woods!

At birth, Woods’ father described him as the Chosen One, a person who in time would be bigger than Buddha and have as much influence as Mahatma Gandhi or Nelson Mandela. (CLICK HERE). (& CLICK HERE)

However, Tiger has admitted, in his own words (and actions), that he CANNOT BE GOD’S CHOSEN ONE:

I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. (Tiger Woods)

It is my hope that Woods’ confession of his “transgressions” will be the first step in looking unto the SOLE Chosen One to attain mercy and forgiveness for all his “transgressions.”

4 As you come to Him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to Him—

5 you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

6 For in Scripture it says:

“See, I lay a stone in Zion,

a chosen and precious cornerstone,

and the one who trusts in Him

will never be put to shame.” (1 Peter 2:4-6) [NIV]

Dear reader, you know all about Tiger Woods’ “transgressions.” Alas, what are you doing about the “transgressions” in your own life?

It is easier to cry against one-thousand sins of others than to kill one of your own. (John Flavel)

Mark it down, there are and will be many consequences to Woods’ “transgressions.” However, I shall not condemn him! I will only encourage him to turn from his “transgressions” and say to him, along with Jesus, “Go and [transgress] no more!” (John 8:11).

Conclusively, may our prayer be as the broken tax-collector standing afar off, not lifting up so much as our eyes unto heaven, smoting upon our breasts, saying, “God be merciful to me a sinner.” (Luke 18:13)

May it be your business, this day, to not “slay the Tiger without”, but to “slay the Tiger within” your very breasts!

5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. (Colossians 3:5-6) [NIV]

Selah,

chadwick

Comments: 2 Comments

Another Reason Why I Don’t Let My Daughter Watch Hannah Montana . . . Like I Need Another Reason!

Posted November 25, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Satire, Southern Baptist Convention, Theology, humor
Tags: billy ray cyrus, culture, hannah montana, humor, hypocrisy, immodesty, miley cyrus, miley cyrus' 17th birthday party, Satire, Southern Baptist Convention, worldliness

BILLY RAY’S “PEN-TEE-AHH-COSTAL” CHURCH NEEDS TO “CHURCH” HIM AND HIS ENTIRE FAMILY! (CLICK HERE)

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Islam: Incompatible with the United States Constitution

Posted November 8, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Blogroll
Tags: anti-democratic philosophy, fort hood, islam, islam is incompatible with the united states constitution, religion, terrorist attack

The latest Muslim-inflicted terrorist-attack in Fort Hood is one that needs to be investigated. For it will prove that Islam is incompatible with the United States Constitution.

The following statements about Islam are inspired from What You Need to Know About Islam & Muslims by: George W. Braswell Jr. :

Islam is a world religion characterized by— Missions, Mobility, & Militancy (Braswell).

Missions: All life, for Muslims, should be subsumed under the laws of Allah. This means that every follower of Muhammad should strive to promote Islam in their: personal life, family life, culture, society, religion, and government. Muslims are under a mandate to establish this vision wherever Islam is present. [Bold emphases mine.]

Mobility: The simplicity of belief and the practice of the pillars of Islam have made it appealing and approachable across cultures. For this reason, Islam has been able to get rooted in US soil.

Militancy: “Jihad” is an important concept for every Muslim.

Classical Islam divides the world into two areas:

1) The world of peace— where Islam is practiced and the Quran is observed:

2) The world of warfare and ignorance, dominated by non-Muslims.

The mission of Islam is to bring the second world under Islam.

chadwick’s commentary:

Islam is based on an anti-democratic philosophy, which is incompatible with the United States Constitution. The United States Constitution promotes the separation between Church (Religion) and State. One of the major tenants of Islam is its goal to promote Islam in every government that Islam is present. This is clearly seen in the Fort Hood terrorist attack. Islam does not promote Liberty and Justice for all; its mission is to bring the Non-Muslim world under Islam.

Bottom Line:

The goal of every Muslim is to bring their government under the rule of Islam; it is their mandate. For this reason, every American citizen who is Muslim disqualifies himself/herself from serving the United States Government at any level. For the United States to allow any Muslim in any governmental office is a breach of the U.S. Constitution.

chadwick

Comments: 3 Comments

Monitoring Your Daily Living Information

Posted September 3, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Blogroll, Devotional Thoughts, South Carolina Baptist Convention, Southern Baptist Convention, Theology, sbcbloggermii's
Tags: sanctification, self-examination, Southern Baptist Convention, Theology, wii fit exercise log

wii fit exercise graph 3

Resolved, Whenever I do any conspicuously evil action, to trace it back, till I come to the original cause and then, both carefully endeavor to do so no more, and to fight and pray with all my might against the original of it. (Resolution #24: By Jonathan Edwards)

Since January, I have been on a strict exercise and diet regime; I have been monitoring and logging my progress every weekday (via my Wii Fit Exercise Program). The program records and registers my exercise information so that I can gauge from week to week if I have progressed or regressed. I have nine months of data concerning my exercise history. Last month, my family and I attended a wonderful event that had an entree of delicious food items with a large desert table of ‘homemade’ cakes and pies. Needless to say, the food was irresistibly delicious . . . and I lost all restraint and pigged out! I indulged in the fine food and enjoyed every bite. Later, I knew that I had overindulged!

Anyway, after returning home, for some strange reason, I decided to ‘weigh in‘ on my exercise program . . . I had gained seven!! . . . yes that is correct, SEVEN pounds of weight within the short span of two hours!!! Fortunately, I was able to work it back off . . . however, it took me one entire week to lose those extra seven pounds that only took a fleeting moment to gain. The exercise program asked me what the problem was that caused me to gain so much weight since my last log (it gave me a list of multiple choice reasons). I checked the box that stated that I had eaten too much. Ah, that was the root of my problem!

My August exercise program’s graph chart that monitors my weight bears witness to the sudden spike on the graph chart. My weight for that specific day of my eating binge was registered FOREVER on my program. I cannot erase it, delete it, or change it. Therefore, the August graph chart of my weight has a lone upward graph point where my weight sky-rocketed.

My exercise program can display my weight progress of the entire year. It is hilarious to look at because the month of August bears one ‘blip‘ that stands out by itself. Every time I examine my yearly chart, that one, lone, spiked blip in August bears witness to my one moment of overindulgence. Thus, no matter how I don’t want that lone, spiked blip on my exercise record, it is there to stay!

In the same, not only is it good to monitor and record our daily physical information, it is also good to monitor and record our “daily living information” . . . and (mentally) record even the moments that we do any “conspicuously evil action.” Why? As Jonathan Edwards suggests, “to trace it back, till I come to the original cause.” What are the causes of the “conspicuously evil actions” in our lives?

Charles Spurgeon makes a few suggestions to the causes of the “conspicuously evil actions” in our lives. He wrote:

“The causes of [a conspicuously evil action] are manifold . . . it may arise through a comparative neglect of prayer, for a neglected closet is the beginning of all spiritual decline . . .”

“Or it may be the result of idolatry. The heart has been occupied with something else, more than with God; the affections have been set on the things of earth, instead of the things of heaven. A jealous God will not be content with a divided heart; He must be loved first and best. He will withdraw the sunshine of His presence from a cold, wandering heart . . .”

“Or the cause may be found in self-confidence and self-righteousness. Pride is busy in the heart, and self is exalted instead of lying low at the foot of the cross.”

In conclusion, according to Edwards, once you have calculated and determined the cause of your “conspicuously evil action,” you are to “both carefully endeavor to do so no more, and to fight and pray with all [your] might against the original of it.”

Chart your life day by day; examine it and take notes; take immediate and proper action to keep the course of following Christ:

. . . So let us run the race that is before us and never give up. We should remove from our lives anything that would get in the way. And we should remove the sin that so easily catches us. (Hebrews 12:1) [International Children's Bible]

Selah,

chadwick

Comments: 7 Comments

A Constant Struggle

Posted July 30, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Blogroll, Devotional Thoughts
Tags: a constant struggle, devotion, Galatians 5:16-21, prayer

A Constant Struggle:

16 So I tell you: Live by following the Spirit. Then you will not do what your sinful selves want.

17 Our sinful selves want what is against the Spirit. The Spirit wants what is against our sinful selves. The two are against each other. So you must not do just as you please.

18 But if you let the Spirit lead you, you are not under the law.

19 The wrong things the sinful self does are clear: being sexually unfaithful, not being pure, taking part in sexual sins,

20 worshiping false gods, doing witchcraft, hating, making trouble, being jealous, being angry, being selfish, making people angry with each other, causing divisions among people,

21 having envy, being drunk, having wild and wasteful parties, and doing other things like this. I warn you now as warned you before: Those who do these things will not be in God’s kingdom. (Galatians 5:16-21) [International Children's Bible]

Alas, how easy it is for the desires of the flesh to whelm us to sin against the Lord? With ease, fleshly affections can, in a split second, magnetize us act upon the works of the flesh! Just when you think you have a fleshly work mastered, you are picking yourself up off the floor from its entanglement. O, how we must pray that our affections will be drawn to Christ that easy! The unsaved person is dominated completely, and without restraint, by the sin nature, to act upon the works of the flesh. However, the Christian has the residency of the Holy Spirit in his/her soul! Praise be to God for the Holy Spirit! For without Him, every Christian would give over to the least of fleshly temptations!

Here is a prayer that I hope that you will pray often in your combat against the works of the flesh:

O, Holy Spirit, keep me at the feet of Jesus. If I had not You, Holy Spirit, O how there would be no struggle to embrace the idols of this world!

Restrain me, O Spirit, that I may not love the things of this world more than Christ!I know my heart. I know how my affections are constantly seeking to attach themselves to the things that are in the world!

Lord Jesus, I pray, that You will lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil.How often, Lord, You have prayed for me, kept me close to Yourself, and delivered me from the enemy!

Satan desires to have me: my heart, my mind, my affections. Satan desires to give me the things of this world so that my love will grow cold to You!

O how easily my affections are bent toward the things of this world!

O, Lord Jesus, pray for me!

If left to my own strength, how carnal I would be!

If left to my own affections, how in love with my own selfish pleasures I would be!

Holy Spirit, I struggle with keeping a ‘handle’ on my love for the pleasures of the flesh! I must know that even my smallest interests can turn into ‘idols’ if Christ does not ‘pray for me!’ I know that the simplest pleasures of life can turn to sinful pleasures, if You endow me not with self-control!

Restrain me, O Lord, from the pleasures of the flesh. How I would run away towards the pleasures of the flesh like a wild colt running on the Western plains if you do not restrain me!

With Your cords of electing love, keep me close to Yourself; that if I perish, I perish not in pursuit of fleshly pleasures, but in pursuit of Your precious presence! AMEN!

chadwick

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Wednesday’s Musings at the 2009 SBC

Posted June 25, 2009 by chadwick
Categories: Blogroll, Danny Akin, SBC Louisville 2009, Satire, Southern Baptist Convention, humor
Tags: 'armani' ronnie floyd, 2009 sbc louisville, Danny Akin, david platt, gcr taskforce, geoff hammond, humor, J.D. Greear, Satire, SBC, tabitha easler, tina ivester, vandisa

David Platt preached an awesome sermon on Christ's name (Acts 3)!!!

'Armani' Ronnie Floyd was appointed the Chairman of the GCR Task Force. Floyd was sporting a pair of exotic skinned shoes (looked like Ostrich) at the SBC. He may have baptised toddlers from a fire-engine baptistry that shot confetti, but he was the sharpest dressed pastor at the SBC. (The cost of Floyd's apparel would be enought to fund 1 IMB missionary's salary for an entire year.)

chadwick’s commentary: JD Greear, the ‘young’ pastor who preached the doom & gloom sermon for the SBC at the Pastors’ Conference, was nominated as a member of the elite GCR Taskforce. Greear, after his doom & gloom sermon on Monday, was raptured away in a stretch limo to the airport, to catch a Trans-continental flight from O’Hara via Greece in A PRIVATE JET to the Mediterranean to relax in a beachfront chalet; he was not even at the SBC to lift a ballet for the GCR! Rumor has it that Greear was in excruciating pain from sunburn he had received lying out on the Mediterranean beach. JD has an alibi, though!

Does O.S. Hawkins realize that tanning beds are hazardous to his health?

This was the effects of John Marshall's Convention Sermon. (No joke. This picture was snapped in the pinacle of Marshall's sermon, as I was leaving.)

Words cannot articulate the influence of John Marshall’s Convention Sermon. This was the mood created by Marshall’s Convention Sermon. (No joke. This picture was snapped in the pinacle of Marshall’s sermon, as I was leaving.)

This poor guy was ''intoxicated' with 'Moranism!'

Danny Akin's cure for 'Moranism': "Come and talk to me for the complete facts!"

Tabitha, mrs.pastorinthewoods, and Tina, my wife, enjoyed themselves at the SBC.

Vandisa glorified the Lord to open up Geoff Hammond's NAMB Report.

Geoff Hammond gave a moving report for the NAMB.

This couple are a wonderful testimony on how the Lord is working in NAMB church plants!

This couple is a wonderful testimony on how the Lord is working in NAMB church plants!

Tina & chadwick are thankful for the Lord's hand upon the SBC & her future!

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chadwickivester

A ‘NewSprung’ Leak

The Fallacious Farce of Global Warming & the SBC

Another Reason Why I Don’t Let My Daughter Watch Hannah Montana . . . Like I Need Another Reason!

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